Sometimes, during meetings, parents are surprised by how well their child shared, listened, or followed directions at school. Sometimes parents feel guilty or feel they aren't doing a good job if their child has a hard time with these same skills at home.
But, children behave differently at home and at school. Often, children behave better at school. At school, the schedule and expectations feel like they are set in stone (or at least, kid-friendly visuals) and consistency can be upheld by staff who are there to engage and support kids with their full attention. At home, the schedule often adjusts based on the needs of the family - and those can change in an instant. Parents are not around simply to engage and support their children but must also cook, clean, grocery shop, do the laundry, pay the bills, and on and on and on. In preschool, children have their first exposure to peer pressure. In our classrooms, this often winds up being positive pressure to participate in group or share toys in order to elicit smiles or praise from others. Children might share more easily at school where toys are seen as common resources. At home, children can feel territorial about their toys and may have a power hierarchy established with siblings. Children are more likely to melt down at home where they know their parents will love and support them and help them through their biggest emotions without holding a grudge. We often see more emotionality out of children when they are tired and ill and parents usually keep children home when they don't seem like themselves. If your child's teacher is describing a child who you wish you saw at home but rarely do, you can take pride in knowing that you helped instill those positive behaviors and characteristics that seem to magically come out at school. And know that you are not the first, nor will you be the last, to say "I wish they did that at home." If you still feel lost, check out some of the book recommendations listed on this website to try and cut back on stress while parenting.
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AuthorMiss Nicole is the Social Worker for the Early Childhood Program in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Categories
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May 2020
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