The sun is shining, your young child is actually listening, and their favorite cereal is on sale. A perfect grocery store trip. Until your child loudly asks "why does that person look different?"
As adults, we might feel embarrassment or guilt when children ask these questions - especially when we are in public! But young children are naturally curious. They are constantly observing and learning about the world around them. They are learning to notice similarities and differences as their shape their own identity. When we shush them or refuse to talk about differences in social identity, sometimes they walk away with the implied understanding that differences are wrong. And that is NOT the message we want to send. Parents are more likely to talk with their children about identity when others have made negative comments about their hair, skin, religion, gender, etc. But it's important for adults to have factual conversations with children to prevent those comments being made in the first place. Or to help the comments turn into a conversation instead of a negative interaction. For more information on the importance of talking with your kids, read: https://www.npr.org/2019/10/08/767205198/the-things-parents-dont-talk-about-with-their-kids-but-should
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Maybe it's your child's first day of school ever, maybe they have a new teacher this year, or maybe it's just a big transition from their summer routine. No matter the circumstances, the first day of school can feel intimidating for both children and parents. Here are some tips to ease first day of school jitters:
Playing outside can be messy, chilly, and inconvenient at times but it offers a wealth of benefits:
A healthy sense of self-esteem or self-confidence can carry you a long way. If you are confident, you are less likely to give up when things are hard or when you make a mistake. If you like yourself, you're more likely to assume others will like you too and it's easier to reach out and connect with others. Here are some simple ways to help your children boost their self-esteem at home:
Academics are an important part of building a successful life and career but there is a crucial foundation lying below the ABCs. Social and emotional skills (like understanding feelings and how to manage them, understanding other's feelings and points of view, solving problems with others, persevering even when tasks become difficult, etc) allow kids to learn and work with others. Without these skills, we can't sit still to focus on school, we can't work in groups with others, we can't get over mistakes to try again - we can't learn! Without this important foundation, all the academic support in the world is just resting on an uneven and rocky surface.
Play is vital to the development of language, problem solving, social skills, emotional regulation, and executive functioning. The benefits of play are many but the time that many children spend engrossed in play is dwindling. In fact, play is so vital to healthy child development that some pediatricians have started writing prescriptions for play!
You can read more about the benefits of play here: www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/08/31/642567651/5-proven-benefits-of-play?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20180831 It can be hard for parents to watch their children fail and struggle with the intense emotions that failure can bring. It would be nice if we could protect our children from failure and uncomfortable feelings but they will experience both throughout their lives. Protecting them now means robbing them of opportunities to develop skills to competently manage these emotions as they get older and the mistakes and failures become more significant.
The more opportunities your child has to recover from small failures and disappointments now, the easier it will be for them to handle these emotions gracefully in elementary, middle, high school and even adulthood. Don’t always let your child pick the game or movie. Don’t always let your child go first and do not always let them win. It may feel overwhelming to both of you at first but know the you are helping them grow and mature with your support and guidance. And, no promises but maybe it will help make those teenage years a little easier too. Tags: Emotional Regulation, Self-Esteem, Self-Regulation It can be much easier and quicker to solve problems for our children: zipping up coats, choosing their clothes and even solving sibling disputes.
However, solving problems for our children instead of letting them navigate problems on their own robs them of the opportunity to overcome frustration, brainstorm solutions, and be filled with the pride that comes from solving a problem on their own. Be nearby to offer support and guidance by summarizing and asking questions. “Looks like you feel angry that your brother has your toy. What can you tell him? How do you feel? How can you solve this problem?” It can be very time consuming in the beginning but imagine your children no longer needing a referee to solve every problem! The confidence they build from knowing they can solve their own problems can build self-esteem too. Tags: Independence, Self-Regulation, Self-Esteem |
AuthorMiss Nicole is the Social Worker for the Early Childhood Program in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Categories
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