It seems like we are seeing more and more w-sitters in the classroom. And while this type of sitting can be fine every once in awhile, it can be problematic if it is your child's default position. Read more below to find out why. For more resources, visit theinspiredtreehouse.com/?s=w+sitting
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Toddlers and preschoolers are famous for tantrums and meltdowns. There are memes, hashtags, and even late-night segments dedicated to laughing about these moments. And, as parents and guardians, sometimes we have find humor in these intense moments to stay sane. But we also need to remember that when little people have big feelings, they are no less real or valid than our grown-up big feelings.
Young children do not have the life experience to differentiate a "small problem" from a "big problem." Not being able to go to the park or have ice cream can feel truly devastating. When adults try to minimize these feelings or brush them off ("don't cry," or "that's silly,") children are getting the message that their feelings don't matter. And that can be a heart-breaking and isolating message. So, what do you do when your child flails about on the ground because they wanted the blue bowl for breakfast ("no, not that blue bowl!")?
Academics are an important part of building a successful life and career but there is a crucial foundation lying below the ABCs. Social and emotional skills (like understanding feelings and how to manage them, understanding other's feelings and points of view, solving problems with others, persevering even when tasks become difficult, etc) allow kids to learn and work with others. Without these skills, we can't sit still to focus on school, we can't work in groups with others, we can't get over mistakes to try again - we can't learn! Without this important foundation, all the academic support in the world is just resting on an uneven and rocky surface.
Daylight Savings is happening this weekend. On Sunday, November 4th, 2:00 AM will magically transform back to 1:00 AM to the delight of people without young children everywhere. Meanwhile, parents of young children will anxiously cross their fingers that this will only mess things up for a few days at most.
Of course there is the obvious time and sleep shift which can have it's own huge impact (read more about that here: www.parents.com/kids/sleep/tips/daylight-saving-time/ ), Over-tiredness can lead to cranky toddlers and kids (and grown ups too!) which can snowball into frustration and difficulties self-regulating throughout the house. Make sure you pay attention to your child's cues (and your own) and head to bed a little earlier than the clock dictates if needed. Daylight Savings also cuts some after-work/school sunlight hours out of the equation. Add that to the change in weather and it sure is tricky to get outside for fresh air and some gross motor activities, not to mention burning off some of that energy! Try to come up with ways to get some physical activity in as often as you can. Maybe sign up for swim lessons, see about a nearby open gym for young children (like Mt. Prospect's Rec Plex Play Place), or turn your home into an obstacle course (pillow forts, taking puzzle pieces up the stairs one at a time to put them in a puzzle waiting at the top, etc). Maybe try some silly animal yoga as a family at home (make up the moves!) or a nightly dance party before dinner. Keep in mind that fewer hours of sunlight can also impact some sensitive individuals on a more emotional level too (lower energy level, reluctance to leave the house, difficulty listening and concentrating, etc). Try to stay tuned to your child and be sure to schedule in some extra snuggles and books when needed. Listening is an important and lifelong skill. Being a good listener makes us better friends, parents, children, siblings, students, and partners. It can be tempting to think that listening only requires our ears but in order to truly listen, we need our whole body!
“Whole Body Listening” helps us remember the essential parts of our body required for truly hearing someone else’s message. We practice with our “eyes looking, ears listening, mouth quiet, brain thinking, and body still.” Sometimes it can be funny to see how important each of these parts of the body are to listening. For example, have you tried reading a picture book with your eyes closed? You sure miss a lot of clues, not to mention wonderful illustrations. Have you ever tried to listen to a favorite show while you or someone else was talking? It can be really hard to hear. Having our brain thinking about the message someone else is giving us is also a crucial part of listening. It’s amazing how much we can learn when we listen with our whole bodies. Listening skills are so important and like every skill, they require practice and modeling. If we want our children to listen to us, then we must take the time to model and truly listen to them when they have something important to share as well. We must model listening to each other in front of them as well. Happy listening and learning! Tags: Self-Regulation, Social Skills Play is vital to the development of language, problem solving, social skills, emotional regulation, and executive functioning. The benefits of play are many but the time that many children spend engrossed in play is dwindling. In fact, play is so vital to healthy child development that some pediatricians have started writing prescriptions for play!
You can read more about the benefits of play here: www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/08/31/642567651/5-proven-benefits-of-play?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20180831 It can be hard for parents to watch their children fail and struggle with the intense emotions that failure can bring. It would be nice if we could protect our children from failure and uncomfortable feelings but they will experience both throughout their lives. Protecting them now means robbing them of opportunities to develop skills to competently manage these emotions as they get older and the mistakes and failures become more significant.
The more opportunities your child has to recover from small failures and disappointments now, the easier it will be for them to handle these emotions gracefully in elementary, middle, high school and even adulthood. Don’t always let your child pick the game or movie. Don’t always let your child go first and do not always let them win. It may feel overwhelming to both of you at first but know the you are helping them grow and mature with your support and guidance. And, no promises but maybe it will help make those teenage years a little easier too. Tags: Emotional Regulation, Self-Esteem, Self-Regulation It can be much easier and quicker to solve problems for our children: zipping up coats, choosing their clothes and even solving sibling disputes.
However, solving problems for our children instead of letting them navigate problems on their own robs them of the opportunity to overcome frustration, brainstorm solutions, and be filled with the pride that comes from solving a problem on their own. Be nearby to offer support and guidance by summarizing and asking questions. “Looks like you feel angry that your brother has your toy. What can you tell him? How do you feel? How can you solve this problem?” It can be very time consuming in the beginning but imagine your children no longer needing a referee to solve every problem! The confidence they build from knowing they can solve their own problems can build self-esteem too. Tags: Independence, Self-Regulation, Self-Esteem Research has shown self-regulation to be a better predictor of children’s school achievement than IQ scores, early literacy or early numeracy skills (Blair & Razz, 2007; Bodrova & Leong, 2008).
Self-regulation is comprised of two parts: 1) inhibitory control which is the ability to stop oneself from doing something (like hitting your sister or eating a cookies) and 2) the ability to do something even when one does not feel like doing it (like cleaning up toys or brushing your teeth). Self-regulation is a skill and like all skills, it can be practiced and developed. At home children can practice deliberate and purposeful behaviors such as switching activities and following directions. Practice with games like Simon Says or Follow the Leader and switch the rules or the leader halfway through. Have your child leave the room and move a few objects around. When they come back, have them tell you what changed. This helps them practice focusing and monitoring skills. Children need to practice following rules and talking about how those rules change across a variety of settings (like burping in a fancy restaurant vs. a burping contest with a friend). Children need to practice following three different types of rules: 1) Following rules set by someone else 2) Setting and monitoring their own rules with others (ex: during a board game or making up a game at the park) 3) Applying rules to themselves without being monitored (ex: finishing a chore before playing) Offer reminders about self-regulation. You can use a visual schedule or checklist for morning or bed time routine or have your child wear a “Super Rule Follower” cape during games that are particularly challenging or frustrating for them. Play! Play! Play! Young children learn best through play and exploration. They learn to share, negotiate, compromise, problem solve, tell stories, communicate, how to think about others’ perspectives and more. Make sure your child has the opportunity to explore toys, puzzles, books, dress up outfits, and even cardboard boxes! Give them opportunities to play and interact with other children whenever possible. |
AuthorMiss Nicole is the Social Worker for the Early Childhood Program in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Categories
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