The sun is shining, your young child is actually listening, and their favorite cereal is on sale. A perfect grocery store trip. Until your child loudly asks "why does that person look different?"
As adults, we might feel embarrassment or guilt when children ask these questions - especially when we are in public! But young children are naturally curious. They are constantly observing and learning about the world around them. They are learning to notice similarities and differences as their shape their own identity. When we shush them or refuse to talk about differences in social identity, sometimes they walk away with the implied understanding that differences are wrong. And that is NOT the message we want to send. Parents are more likely to talk with their children about identity when others have made negative comments about their hair, skin, religion, gender, etc. But it's important for adults to have factual conversations with children to prevent those comments being made in the first place. Or to help the comments turn into a conversation instead of a negative interaction. For more information on the importance of talking with your kids, read: https://www.npr.org/2019/10/08/767205198/the-things-parents-dont-talk-about-with-their-kids-but-should
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We've been talking about "the group plan" at school recently. The term "the group plan" is taken from Michelle Garcia Winner's Social Thinking Curriculum. You can learn more about that program here: www.socialthinking.com/
A group is made up of 2 or more people. When you have a conversation with a friend, you are in a group. When you are listening to a story in the classroom, you are with a group. When you are marching in a parade, you are with a group. The group plan is whatever plan the group is following. So if two friends are talking about their favorite snack, the group plan is to talk about food. If the class is listening to a story... you get the idea. When we follow the group plan, it makes things easier for everyone in the group. When we don't follow the group plan, it can make people confused or uncomfortable. If my friend is talking about goldfish crackers and I start listing facts about volcanoes, my friend will be confused and think I'm not listening. If my class is reading a story and I stand up to go play with dinosaurs (my own plan), the rest of the class will be confused and the learning will stop while the teacher works to bring me back to the group plan. At home, you can use the group plan to help your child stop and notice clues. "Look at what I am doing - what is the group plan?" The answer might be sitting down to dinner, cleaning up toys, getting socks and shoes on to get out the door, etc. "I know you want to play but right now we need to follow the group plan. The group plan is to get ready to go!" Sometimes we all need reminders to follow the group plan! As kids get older, it can be helpful to remind them that we follow group plans when they are safe and expected. We don't want kids to confuse the group plan with negative peer pressure. Academics are an important part of building a successful life and career but there is a crucial foundation lying below the ABCs. Social and emotional skills (like understanding feelings and how to manage them, understanding other's feelings and points of view, solving problems with others, persevering even when tasks become difficult, etc) allow kids to learn and work with others. Without these skills, we can't sit still to focus on school, we can't work in groups with others, we can't get over mistakes to try again - we can't learn! Without this important foundation, all the academic support in the world is just resting on an uneven and rocky surface.
Books are an incredible way to teach lessons and spark conversations and ideas with little ones. Because books can be so impactful there is even a term - bibliotherapy - for using them as a way to help spark growth and change in a therapeutic setting. It can be hard to find books that you want to spend precious minutes on (or that you would be willing to read over and over and over again!). Below are some picture books that I like and why I like them for young kids (all of these books are available at the AHML library):
Listening is an important and lifelong skill. Being a good listener makes us better friends, parents, children, siblings, students, and partners. It can be tempting to think that listening only requires our ears but in order to truly listen, we need our whole body!
“Whole Body Listening” helps us remember the essential parts of our body required for truly hearing someone else’s message. We practice with our “eyes looking, ears listening, mouth quiet, brain thinking, and body still.” Sometimes it can be funny to see how important each of these parts of the body are to listening. For example, have you tried reading a picture book with your eyes closed? You sure miss a lot of clues, not to mention wonderful illustrations. Have you ever tried to listen to a favorite show while you or someone else was talking? It can be really hard to hear. Having our brain thinking about the message someone else is giving us is also a crucial part of listening. It’s amazing how much we can learn when we listen with our whole bodies. Listening skills are so important and like every skill, they require practice and modeling. If we want our children to listen to us, then we must take the time to model and truly listen to them when they have something important to share as well. We must model listening to each other in front of them as well. Happy listening and learning! Tags: Self-Regulation, Social Skills Play is vital to the development of language, problem solving, social skills, emotional regulation, and executive functioning. The benefits of play are many but the time that many children spend engrossed in play is dwindling. In fact, play is so vital to healthy child development that some pediatricians have started writing prescriptions for play!
You can read more about the benefits of play here: www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/08/31/642567651/5-proven-benefits-of-play?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20180831 Empathy can be an abstract term, especially for young children. Even as adults we often confuse sympathy (feeling sorry for someone and their situation) with empathy (feeling or understanding the way someone else feels). The old saying “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” refers to empathy and it is a crucial skill.
Empathy makes us better in all of our relationships - with parents, children, brothers, sisters, friends, cousins, classmates, co-workers, and even our spouse. Empathy motivates us to truly understand how others feel which makes us better listeners and better problem solvers. Instead of jumping into an argument, we can think about the other person’s point of view and have a thoughtful discussion. Empathy motivates our compassion which, in the end, can truly make the world a better place, one person at a time. So how can be reinforce this potentially world-changing skill in young children? There are plenty of things you can do everyday:
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Social Skills |
AuthorMiss Nicole is the Social Worker for the Early Childhood Program in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Categories
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