Empathy can be an abstract term, especially for young children. Even as adults we often confuse sympathy (feeling sorry for someone and their situation) with empathy (feeling or understanding the way someone else feels). The old saying “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” refers to empathy and it is a crucial skill.
Empathy makes us better in all of our relationships - with parents, children, brothers, sisters, friends, cousins, classmates, co-workers, and even our spouse. Empathy motivates us to truly understand how others feel which makes us better listeners and better problem solvers. Instead of jumping into an argument, we can think about the other person’s point of view and have a thoughtful discussion. Empathy motivates our compassion which, in the end, can truly make the world a better place, one person at a time. So how can be reinforce this potentially world-changing skill in young children? There are plenty of things you can do everyday:
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Social Skills
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Emotional Intelligence (or “EQ”) includes the ability to express your feelings and identity the feelings of others. In some studies, low EQ has been correlated with multiple problems later in life, including depression.
Individuals with high emotional intelligence are able to distinguish between and label feelings of disappointment (field trip was cancelled) and betrayal (best friend told your secret) instead of just labeling both feelings simply as “mad.” These individuals know that feelings can have varying levels of intensity (okay vs. happy vs. excited) and can have many layers (feeling disappointed you didn’t make the spelling bee but relieved you don't have to stand in front of the whole school). They also remember that all feelings are okay and valid. Ignoring feelings doesn’t make them go away. Feelings can be confusing and overwhelming. Strong feelings can fill up our whole bodies all the way to the top of our brains, leaving little room for thinking, reflecting, or problem solving. It’s important to stop and gather clues about what is happening when we are overwhelmed by a strong feeling. We can check for body clues - Is my heart beating fast? Does my tummy feel funny? We can think of environmental clues to - What just happened? What thoughts am I thinking right now? Emotional intelligence is flexible and can be taught and improved. There are lots of ways you can help your children build up their emotional intelligence at home: 1) Don’t settle for words like “happy,” “mad,” or “sad.” Use words like annoyed, disappointed, excited, overjoyed, delighted, jealous, etc. Use these words in front of your children as you talk about your own feelings. Use them to describe the characters in stories or movies that you are enjoying together. 2) Ask your children how they are feeling throughout the day to bring awareness to the fact that feelings can change quickly and frequently. If your child is feeling down, ask them for details and work together to think of a way to feel better. 3) Make up some feelings games. Play “feelings charades” in the living room or even in the car - try to guess based on facial expressions, body language and even tone of voice how someone else is pretending to feel. Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Regulation |
AuthorMiss Nicole is the Social Worker for the Early Childhood Program in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Categories
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