Imagine Neighborhood is a podcast for kids that has been developed to help kids learn about social and emotional skills. It aligns with the Second Step curriculum that is used in some of the AHSD25 elementary schools.
Learn more and listen here: www.imagineneighborhood.org/podcast-1/
0 Comments
If parenting during shelter-in-place feels challenging and isolating, you only have to scroll through a few social media memes to realize that you are not alone. Preschool aged children have intense feelings, no matter the setting. Throw in some stressed out parents, new routines, uncertainty, and a global pandemic and you have a recipe for disaster. So, how can you help the little ones in your life sort through all these feelings (and maybe help yourself in the meantime too)? Talk about those feelings! ALL THE FEELINGS! Here is a link to a feelings chart that you can print and use at home. It has a lot of feelings. Feelings can be nuanced. According to Yale's RULER approach, emotions range in pleasantness and intensity levels. Understanding that can actually make taming them a little bit more manageable. It can also help young children appreciate the wide spectrum of emotions even if they are not yet developmentally ready to name them all. But too many options can be overwhelming for some people. If you're going to use a feelings chart at home, do so in a way that is going to be truly useful for your kids. With my 2 and 4 year old, this meant cutting out pictures and arranging them in a way that made more sense to us (we used the RULER approach and arranged them by "energy level" and "pleasantness"). We pick out how we are feeling based on the picture we most relate to and then talk about the different ways to label that feeling. We talk about whether or not we like the way we are feeling. If we don't like it, we talk about things we can do to change how we are feeling. Which brings me to the next challenge: calming strong feelings. Here is a social story you can use to begin talking about ways to calm strong feelings. Another useful approach is to come up with strategies that can be easily used to calm strong feelings in the moment (like this generic one). My 4-year-old helped me brainstorm a more personalized calming strategy menu for our house last week because we needed it (please excuse the art, time was of the essence)! Personalized menus or choice boards can come in handy for everyone - especially when they are practiced proactively ahead of time. We earned "stars" for each calming strategy we did (grown ups too! Modeling is so important and, honestly, we all benefitted). At the end of the day, the person with the most stars won! The prize? Picking the song we danced to before bed. Practicing strategies when we are calm makes it easier to remember to use these strategies when we are not calm. If we talk about how we feel both before and after we use the strategies, we become aware of which strategies are most helpful. Plus, when parents are stressed, it's way easier to grab a pre-made list of ways to help your kid calm down then try and come up with a creative list off the top of your head.
The menu we made probably won't last that long. Hopefully we will back into a better routine and we won't need to practice it daily anymore. Or, more likely, we will need to make a new one to spice things up or as the weather gets nicer (please-oh-please let the weather get nicer!). We might find that we need a totally different type of choice board - perhaps a problem solving board for when two kids want the same toy. We might need something different each week. And that's okay. The creation of each menu or choice board is a collaborative effort and invites everyone to think of solutions. Even young children can feel empowered when they are genuinely asked to help solve big problems. And each new board is a chance to talk about feelings and ways to regulate those feelings and that's a win for everyone. Well, for three minutes at least. Toddlers and preschoolers are famous for tantrums and meltdowns. There are memes, hashtags, and even late-night segments dedicated to laughing about these moments. And, as parents and guardians, sometimes we have find humor in these intense moments to stay sane. But we also need to remember that when little people have big feelings, they are no less real or valid than our grown-up big feelings.
Young children do not have the life experience to differentiate a "small problem" from a "big problem." Not being able to go to the park or have ice cream can feel truly devastating. When adults try to minimize these feelings or brush them off ("don't cry," or "that's silly,") children are getting the message that their feelings don't matter. And that can be a heart-breaking and isolating message. So, what do you do when your child flails about on the ground because they wanted the blue bowl for breakfast ("no, not that blue bowl!")?
Maybe it's your child's first day of school ever, maybe they have a new teacher this year, or maybe it's just a big transition from their summer routine. No matter the circumstances, the first day of school can feel intimidating for both children and parents. Here are some tips to ease first day of school jitters:
Sometimes, during meetings, parents are surprised by how well their child shared, listened, or followed directions at school. Sometimes parents feel guilty or feel they aren't doing a good job if their child has a hard time with these same skills at home.
But, children behave differently at home and at school. Often, children behave better at school. At school, the schedule and expectations feel like they are set in stone (or at least, kid-friendly visuals) and consistency can be upheld by staff who are there to engage and support kids with their full attention. At home, the schedule often adjusts based on the needs of the family - and those can change in an instant. Parents are not around simply to engage and support their children but must also cook, clean, grocery shop, do the laundry, pay the bills, and on and on and on. In preschool, children have their first exposure to peer pressure. In our classrooms, this often winds up being positive pressure to participate in group or share toys in order to elicit smiles or praise from others. Children might share more easily at school where toys are seen as common resources. At home, children can feel territorial about their toys and may have a power hierarchy established with siblings. Children are more likely to melt down at home where they know their parents will love and support them and help them through their biggest emotions without holding a grudge. We often see more emotionality out of children when they are tired and ill and parents usually keep children home when they don't seem like themselves. If your child's teacher is describing a child who you wish you saw at home but rarely do, you can take pride in knowing that you helped instill those positive behaviors and characteristics that seem to magically come out at school. And know that you are not the first, nor will you be the last, to say "I wish they did that at home." If you still feel lost, check out some of the book recommendations listed on this website to try and cut back on stress while parenting. Academics are an important part of building a successful life and career but there is a crucial foundation lying below the ABCs. Social and emotional skills (like understanding feelings and how to manage them, understanding other's feelings and points of view, solving problems with others, persevering even when tasks become difficult, etc) allow kids to learn and work with others. Without these skills, we can't sit still to focus on school, we can't work in groups with others, we can't get over mistakes to try again - we can't learn! Without this important foundation, all the academic support in the world is just resting on an uneven and rocky surface.
In this article, Katie Hurley, therapist and parenting expert, shares 10 Strategies to Help Your Anxious Child in the Moment. Not only are these strategies tried and true, they were recommended by kids! The very best kind of recommendation.
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Regulation. Daylight Savings is happening this weekend. On Sunday, November 4th, 2:00 AM will magically transform back to 1:00 AM to the delight of people without young children everywhere. Meanwhile, parents of young children will anxiously cross their fingers that this will only mess things up for a few days at most.
Of course there is the obvious time and sleep shift which can have it's own huge impact (read more about that here: www.parents.com/kids/sleep/tips/daylight-saving-time/ ), Over-tiredness can lead to cranky toddlers and kids (and grown ups too!) which can snowball into frustration and difficulties self-regulating throughout the house. Make sure you pay attention to your child's cues (and your own) and head to bed a little earlier than the clock dictates if needed. Daylight Savings also cuts some after-work/school sunlight hours out of the equation. Add that to the change in weather and it sure is tricky to get outside for fresh air and some gross motor activities, not to mention burning off some of that energy! Try to come up with ways to get some physical activity in as often as you can. Maybe sign up for swim lessons, see about a nearby open gym for young children (like Mt. Prospect's Rec Plex Play Place), or turn your home into an obstacle course (pillow forts, taking puzzle pieces up the stairs one at a time to put them in a puzzle waiting at the top, etc). Maybe try some silly animal yoga as a family at home (make up the moves!) or a nightly dance party before dinner. Keep in mind that fewer hours of sunlight can also impact some sensitive individuals on a more emotional level too (lower energy level, reluctance to leave the house, difficulty listening and concentrating, etc). Try to stay tuned to your child and be sure to schedule in some extra snuggles and books when needed. In this article, Rick Hanson and Forest Hanson share lots of information about resiliency - where it comes from and how to cultivate it...
"Though it’s not a quick fix, you can change your brain for the better by working it the same way you would work a muscle. As you become more resilient in the face of life’s challenges, you move toward greater well-being and away from stress, worry, frustration, and hurt." Tags: Emotional Regulation, Emotional Intelligene, Parenting Play is vital to the development of language, problem solving, social skills, emotional regulation, and executive functioning. The benefits of play are many but the time that many children spend engrossed in play is dwindling. In fact, play is so vital to healthy child development that some pediatricians have started writing prescriptions for play!
You can read more about the benefits of play here: www.npr.org/sections/ed/2018/08/31/642567651/5-proven-benefits-of-play?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20180831 |
AuthorMiss Nicole is the Social Worker for the Early Childhood Program in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Categories
All
Archives
May 2020
|